Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The Artist's Paradox

I don't consider myself important.  At the same time, I don't engage in self-loathing or self-belittlement.  If I look at our tiny blue planet with seven billion people and the infinite (as far as we know) Universe beyond it I can see that I am not at all important.  A small grain of sand on the beach.  Will the beach miss me if I'm gone?

The answer I usually get is that the beach as a whole won't miss me, but other grains of sand that were close to me might.  But that would imply that I gauge my importance relative to what others may or may not feel about me.  "Weak," I reply.  "Very weak, my friend."

And, instead, I offer the Artist's paradox.  Imagine that you are a world-famous artist, a sculptor-extraordinaire.  Your skill is unparalleled and your creativity is limitless.  One day, you find yourself on a secluded beach with fine white sand.  The tide is out and there is plenty of sand between the water and the rocks higher up on the beach.

You get the inspiration to make a sand castle, the most beautiful you've ever built, with intricate details of ramparts,  the court chapel and even a clock tower.  You get to work and lose yourself in your creation.  From under your artful hands rises an amazing sand castle.

Yet, you know that in an hour or two the tide will come back in and your castle will once again join the beach it came from and no one will have had a chance to see it.

You know that your sand sculpture in unimportant.  But, you care deeply about it and put every bit of yourself into it.  Regardless of how long it will last or whether anyone will see it.

That is the Artist's Paradox.  Caring deeply about something while being aware of its unimportance.

Perhaps, it is the very thing that gives passion to the artists that many people appreciate but few can duplicate.  Caring deeply, without holding back, yet knowing how unimportant it all is in the grand scheme of things.

I know that I, myself, am unimportant.  Still, I care deeply about what I do and I do it without holding back.  I do it for me, without considering what gratitude or appreciation I may get from others.  I live for me, knowing that my life belongs to me and only me, and that the benefits that other people may get from my efforts are but side effects of my caring and my unimportance.

I am glad that the beach won't miss me.