“Compassion” is another word that has been greatly endeared by the folks “out there.” It is used in all sorts of context, by the “left” and by the “right”, even to anthropomorphize inanimate objects. The New Age hails it as one of the highest currencies to have in one’s personal possession. It is used metaphorically and allegorically in the popular literature and on the web.
I asked a few men and women to define “compassion.” Some reasonably complete answers followed, most of which centered on feeling sorry for someone and, commonly, trying to immediately lessen that person’s pain.
That seemed close to the popular culture interpretation. To confirm, I looked it up in the dictionary and discovered that the word “compassion” has its root in the Latin “compati”, which means “to suffer with.” Reading further, I found that in modern American English it describes a “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.”
When I read this definition, I felt uneasy. Ever since I was a child, I learned that pitying a man is a form of belittlement or disparagement. It is saying that the person is powerless. It is implying that he has no part in the creative process of his own life as it happens. I learned that pity has little to do with clarity. But, it has a lot to do with a fear of how you may feel if the same thing were to happen to you.
As for concern, it is virtually meaningless today. Organizations are “concerned” about the environment. The government is “concerned” about the wellbeing of its country. People are “concerned” about being overweight. How much action comes from “being concerned”?
For the sake of what I write, I use the term “compassion” to describe something different. It is feeling all that there is to be felt and doing exactly what is needed. No less and, definitely, no more. More is not better.
Of course, we need the ability to feel and to see clearly in order to practice compassion. It would be quite a task to apply this kind of compassion from inside of a “box of myths.” It may be possible, but I have never tried.
In my view, compassion has to be imbued with awareness and understanding: awareness of what is and understanding of the potential outcomes of the taken action. “Shooting from the hip” of raw pity is a poor tactic to accomplish what is truly needed.
I spent a significant amount of time training to handle various emergencies. In virtually all situations of that kind, the first thing I’d do is to slow down and count to ten. That count allows me to feel what is happening, regulate my emotionality and to see a clear course of action. The action itself comes next.
Compassion works similarly. Slow down. Feel. Stop projecting your past fears onto the future. See the path you need to take. Do what needs to be done.
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