Pleasing another

Pleasing another.  Why would a person please another person?  Some obvious reasons come to mind.

One would be because of the perception that it is one’s “job” to do it.  Many people fall into the role of “pleasers” because they became conditioned over time.  The pleaser is controlled by an external source.

Another reason is that pleasing someone gives a person an sense of control over the other person.  The pleaser is in charge of creating certain feelings and mind states in the one person.  This gives the pleaser an illusion of power over another.

Third is the addiction to being liked, which is the same as the fear of not being liked or fear of non-acceptance.  This fear drives many to extreme acts of pleasing others while giving up their own best interests.  These people tend to please those whose acceptance they are trying to gain or are afraid to lose.  This is an act of desperation.

Fourth is the presence of genuine affection and tenderness for the other.  Genuine pleasing on this level occurs only when the person giving pleasure feels equal to the one who is receiving pleasure.   It is impossible without a feeling of being connected on the same level.  Giving pleasure then becomes an expression of tenderness and caring and is a partnership in the exchange of energy.

Pick one?